“What do you want me to say?” Louis says, tripping over a bucket in search of the door. Zayn is the discount frozen peas of humanity.” That’s what Zayn deserves to eat: discount frozen peas. There’s a sale on frozen peas, apparently. If there’s a modern equivalent to wandering a moor in a open waistcoat, this is it. “And so he’s at Tesco now, trudging up and down the frozen peas food aisle. “Look, just because I like him as a person, and just because he’s extremely fit, and just because he makes me laugh and also sometimes makes me want to drown myself in a ditch, does not mean I fancy him.” seriously, i could talk for DAYS about how TIF is a great literary masterpiece, because of its use of foils, voice, symbolism, metaphor, and character arcs OH MY GOD THE CHARACTER ARCS. In much more isolated incidences: discussion of outing and bullying, use of the word “c*nt,” one instance of ridiculous cross-dressing.Ī/N: Title from “Stray Italian Greyhound” by Vienna Teng. Louis is a jaded bastard who owns a cat named Duchess and teaches drama to teenagers, Harry is an idealistic aspiring photographer/part-time footy coach, Zayn teaches English lit and wears leather jackets, Liam saves people from burning buildings, and Niall is Niall. Summary: Future AU in which nobody tries out for X Factor but the boys end up finding one other eventually anyway. WHAT IS THESE INCONVENIENT FIREWORKS (aka TIF)? IF YOU DO ANY OF THE ABOVE, THIS FIC WILL BE TAKEN DOWN IMMEDIATELY AND IN ITS PLACE WILL BE A SINGLE POST WITH YOUR USER NAME EXPLAINING THAT YOU ARE THE REASON WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.WHY YOU SHOULD READ THESE INCONVENIENT FIREWORKS: AN INFORMATIONAL PAGE In much more isolated incidences: discussion of outing and bullying, use of the word “c*nt,” one instance of ridiculous cross-dressing.Ī/N: Title from “Stray Italian Greyhound” by Vienna Teng.ĭO NOT SEND THIS FIC TO ANYONE REMOTELY CONNECTED TO THE BOYS.ĭO NOT POST THIS FIC IN THEIR TAGS ON TUMBLR (THIS INCLUDES SHIP TAGS).

These Inconvenient Fireworks by mdasch